Random Thoughts with Tanya

This last weekend Pastor Jordan spoke an amazing message on forgiveness that everyone could probably use. Like he said we all needed to forgive as well as be forgiven. None of us are perfect people with no mistakes. It makes me think about something I wrote a few years ago on forgiveness. What I wrote is in no comparison to what Pastor Jordan spoke. I think there were a few things on point, but he went deeper and was way funnier. I will post at the bottom the link to watch him. It really is a must watch for everyone.

I used to be someone who struggled with forgiveness. I let resentment built up in my heart until God helped me with that. Recently after a series of things in my life have happened God has put on my heart to talk about specific topics. Topics that relate to all of us. In some ways it’s kind of funny he picked me because I was always the one who either didn’t show up on days that it was time to speak in front of the class or froze when I did. God has a way of knowing what we can handle even when we don’t and when he puts something on our heart, we just do it knowing he will see us through it. That is where trusting him comes into play. I have plans for that topic as well.

I chose forgiveness because this is something I know I have had to deal with both as the one who needs to forgive and be forgiven. Part of the past person I was had a hard time letting go of how others hurt me. Before I get into what God says about it, I want to talk about how it makes us feel as a person. We are filled with anger, bitterness and resentment towards people or a person and that eats away at our happiness. I was that person. As soon as I had God in my life it was like I was given a new heart. The anger and bitterness I felt was lifted. That might have almost been the easy part. There was still the part of telling those who had hurt me that I forgave them. I don’t know that God really requires us to do that part, but it sure does make us feel better when we do. It also shows how big of a step we’ve made in our journey. Is what God does expect of us is to forgive those who have sinned against us no matter how many times. Luke 17:4 Even if they sin against you seven times and come back saying “I Repent,” you must forgive them. The good news is that also means God is going to forgive us over and over even when we mess up. It also says in Colossians 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Now that sounds reasonable. I mean if we have been forgiven why wouldn’t we extend the same onto others? The big one that really stands out for me is Matthew 6:15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” I know that all of us here have the same goal of getting into Heaven and it’s more than just being a good person. It’s really the whole package. For me every time I see an article in the news about prisons or a crime someone committed and people making remarks about things, I can’t help wanting 0to educate them that the crime holds no different value that a lie or anything else in the eyes of God. It’s very clear that we need to forgive everyone and not judge anyone. Hebrews 8:12 For I will forgive their wickedness and remember their sins no more. If you are someone who has been struggling with trying to forgive someone then I ask that you reach out and ask someone to try with you. Letting go of this will give you so much peace in your heart.

Pastor Jordan's Forgiveness Message

 https://youtu.be/_eYrVqMuMmU

Before I turned fifty last year, I had no idea what to expect. I remember my last birthday in my twenties was the worst one for me and I cried. I was not looking forward to leaving my twenties and going into my thirties. After that they were just another day and another year older. I don’t even remember my 40^th birthday.

I will say something made me want a party for my 50^th birthday and while it had a few bumps it was my best year. When I turned fifty it started off with a bang and has been such a great year. I started a new church last year and have become involved in different things and have gotten to know so many amazing people. I started a new job last year and work with people I couldn’t even imagine my life without. My walk with the Lord is better and stronger than ever.

My fifties came at the right time in my life. I would like to say had I known being fifty was going to be this amazing I would have skipped past the other years and went right to here. I don’t think I would have been ready to embrace this the way I have before the right time. I look back to even my birthday from when I turned from forty-nine to fifty and I didn’t have the same bounce in my step or high on life feeling. I hadn’t made so many of the other positive changes in my life. I was just barely getting moved and started at a new church around this time last year.

If fifty was this year I can’t wait to see what fifty-one is going to be like. One more year of amazing friendships, amazing job, personal growth and spiritual growth. I am already excited for the next 12 months and only wish I can fast forward so I can see what amazing things happened.

I have been thinking a lot lately about what music means to me these days. There was a time in my life that I listened to mostly Country music with a little bit of variety added into my mix. The majority was Country. Sometime between 2010-2012 when I was introduced into Christian music, I started having a few favorites and slowly built my playlist until I was close to split on Country and Christian music. Even being split up on my playlist I still listened to Country radio stations. I am not sure why I gave up Country music stations, but it changed my soul.

Music for me was something to listen to in the car and it wasn’t something that I had to have. I never related to those people who felt totally relaxed and soothed with music. I could relate to different songs, or I enjoyed songs for different reasons, but they didn’t touch my soul. I named my Christian playlist in my phone my favorite grounding music. I was laying here tonight listening to music and tapping to it just lost in the moment. I never felt that with any other music. Not only can I get lost in the music, but it’s also just as relatable as any other music. The biggest difference is it’s not relatable in a sad, negative, broken relationship kind of way. It’s relatable in the most positive and upbeat kind of way. It doesn’t bring out the depressing, angry, somebody has done me wrong feelings. I will always love me some George Straight, but I have been to more Christian concerts in 5 years then I have all together of other concerts in my entire life and would 100% be at a lot more if I could afford them. I am so grateful for the music and the message in them and how they have such a positive impact.

I was doing some reflecting on my way home today and thinking about last year. So many things have happened. The biggest ones are getting moved into my new place that I had wondered if it would ever happen. With the rising cost of rent and difficulty it is to afford a place on a single income I was afraid I was stuck where I was forever. I finally did get a better job and saw light at the end of that tunnel only to get Covid and had to use all my savings to pay bills while I was off work.

June of 2022 I finally moved into that long-awaited place. Soon after I got moved, I finally got plugged into an amazing church that was exactly what I needed. I didn’t waste any time getting involved in groups and finding a community that I had been longing for.

The blessings didn’t stop there! November of 2022, I started a new job with the most amazing people at a place I love going to every day. A place I miss when I am not there.

Over the last year there have been some setbacks as well, but every setback has put me in a position to move forward into an even better place. It is so easy to get hung up on the “why is this happening to me” when we should be embracing what is about to happen.

As I look at all the things, I celebrate right now I am fully aware of the storm I went through to get to each of these places. I look forward to my future and what is in store instead of dread it. I can’t wait to see what I get to celebrate this time next year.

Church……..

When I was thinking about a title for this topic it was probably one of the hardest ones I’ve come up with. There are so many things I think of when I simply think of Church.

When I was a kid the only church, I knew was very large and everyone dressed up. I never saw my grandpa go to church in anything other than a suit and tie. Women wore dresses and plates were passed even though I didn’t know what that meant. As I grew up this was the only image of Church I had in my mind. I was not a dress person and everything about Church seemed very intimidating to me.

Fast forward to years later when I had my own kids and was clueless about anything Church related. I had this image from childhood of what kind of people went to Church and how they looked. In my mind none of those people were me. They didn’t dress like me or make the same bad decisions I had made over and over. I wasn’t sure what I did or didn’t believe but, believed I didn’t need to go to a church to be a Christian.

I eventually realized it was a lie… Everything I was telling myself about Church and the people who went to Church wasn’t even true. My kids kept telling me that I didn’t have to wear a dress and would ask me to come to Church. I eventually did go, and it was nothing like I remembered as a kid. Adults and kids would wear shorts in the summer or jeans. Some would dress up nicer, but those same people probably dressed nicely the rest of the week also. I realized that the people in the Church looked just like ME! As I talked with more people within the Church community over the years, I even learned that they are broken people just like ME. Some had battled some of the same things I have and some different. This idea people have that “church people” don’t understand is such a terrible misconception. One that I hope to break. We are people just like everyone else and have dysfunctional and broken stuff in our life just like everyone else. We just use different tools to fix it. People would be surprised if they only knew how many “church people” could relate to them.